


Crack!fic: You Can't Judge a Book by Its Cover

by Yamx



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, Innuendo, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-20
Updated: 2010-02-20
Packaged: 2017-10-21 15:52:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/226923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yamx/pseuds/Yamx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>…or can you?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crack!fic: You Can't Judge a Book by Its Cover

Rose is walking towards the console room, rubbing her freshly-washed hair with a fluffy pink towel, when she first hears the commotion – the Doctor's raised voice, Jack's laughter, and the sound of running feet. She carefully peeks around the corner.

Jack is running around the console. He's laughing like a loon, holding something pressed close to his chest. The Doctor's hot on his heels, his face redder than the exertion of running alone would explain.

"-had no right to poke around under my bed!" the Doctor is yelling, making a grab for Jack, who evades him with the grace of a dancer. In whirling around, he spots her.

"Rose!" Jack yells excitedly. "Rose, you've got to see this!"

"No!" the Doctor stops right in front of her, blocking Jack from sight. "No, you can't show Rose!"

Jack is still laughing. "I won't if you tell me who Katherine J. McMillan is." He's trying to sidestep the Doctor to get closer to Rose.

"Kathy…" The Doctor sounds panicky. "She's no one important! I really only knew her for that one week! I never thought she'd write it all down!"

Suddenly, Jack stands stock-still, his mouth hanging open. "You mean…" His eyes widen in gleeful surprise. "This is all real? It actually happened? I thought it was fiction." He shakes his head, eyes sparkling. "Never thought you'd be up for that stuff in the last chapter!"

The Doctor's face turns an even darker shade of red. "You've read it already?"

Jack's doubled over laughing. "Course I did! I knew you'd take it from me the moment you knew I'd found it." He looks up, his eyes twinkling impishly. "I may or may not have made copies of my favorite scenes and hidden them in an undisclosed location for later reference."

The sound that escapes the Doctor's throat can only be described as a whimper. He lunges forward, making a desperate grab for Jack, but is foiled once again by the Captain's nimble dodge. "Jack," he growls, "If you don't hand it over right now, I swear I'll spank your arse till it's redder than the third moon of Dosmicron Theta!"

"Like in chapter four, you mean?" Jack waggles his eyebrows exaggeratedly. "Because I really got into that scene where you…"

With a howl, the Doctor starts chasing Jack around the console again. And he's gaining on him. Rose is torn between giggling at their antics and trying to intervene before someone gets hurt… probably Jack. Whatever he's done this time, he seems to have pushed every last one of the Doctor's buttons.

"Is this really necessary? I'd so much rather go and do page sixty-three with you…" Jack says, throwing a seductive grin over his shoulder.

"Ummm… what's all this about?" Rose asks from the doorway, though she's not entirely sure she wants to know.

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Just Jack being a nuisance, as usual!" the Doctor says hastily. He's running up the ramp now.

Seeing that, Jack veers in an elegant curve, aiming for Rose.

The Doctor leaps over the rail, lands lightly on the balls of his feet and catches Jack around the waist neatly. The Captain tries to wriggle away, but it's too late.

It's too late for the Doctor, too, though. Because Jack has already thrown the book to Rose. She catches it and turns it over with a puzzled frown.

She hears a loud smack, and the scratchy sound of denim as Jack rubs his stinging arse, still chuckling madly. There's a growling sound and muttered threats of terrible punishment – which Jack responds to with a cheerful "Is that a promise?"

But she doesn’t look up to see their faces. Her eyes are riveted on the object in her hands.

  


  


  
**The End**   


**Author's Note:**

> Because I know someone's going to ask - [this is how I did it.](http://romancenovelyourself.com/) *g*


End file.
